1. |
925
04:06
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Need to grow myself a hydra head where I could store the lives I've lead all my houses & all my beds all my houses & all my beds got it while the getting was good got it when my mind was black got it through my falcon hood got it with knives in my back 925 925 it's silver need to grow myself a hydra head to fill with dough to fill with bread & all my loves who'll soon be dead & all my loves who'll soon be dead
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2. |
Dead, Falls
03:35
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Dream if it's right for you if it binds you to the contact points around us the way we draw our lines in needle thread & black iron & as a body, dead, falls I'll be emotionless I'll kiss a mummy's kiss & spit out the bloody feast make all the sudden moves that I ever dreamed to speak if it lets you break if it makes you whole through the splitting furniture & around the skidding cars they hit you even when you turn away & as a body, dead, falls I'll hit up the races I'll blow through the pages & split every difference make all the sudden moves that I ever dreamed to
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3. |
Hum
04:23
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Let's drive til there's nothing but hum let's fight with only our tongues hum your lips against mine & I'll suck them through my teeth cause I don't need no more receipts live in sun til I get bleached live in sun til i get bleached let's drive until we kill the hum let's forget there even was one hum to fight the hunger off & I'll feed you what you wanna eat cause I'm a man & I like meat & they can't take away our feast no they can't take away our feast this is a life that we can lead & I'll work towards it til I bleed & hum away the bloated days until we're both released
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4. |
Caught in a Cough
05:30
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There are bills to pay from outside your home you've made an offer now you'll be left alone drop the handgun drop the milkshake we've got blood yeah we've got cash yeah we've got pills yeah we've got pills you are not your words you are not your thoughts you are not your hands you are not your knots but I am but I am but I am but I am caught caught in a cough we're standing on legs yeah we're standing on stilts gonna have to grow fins gonna have to grow gills
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5. |
Tools
06:24
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"Make sure to produce with each word you use" they tell me I'm nothing they know that I'm juiced with each passing minute it grows & turns red by inches & meters by hands & by heads so darling don't forget me & all the wordless shit that I sometimes helped you to see in open containers in parking lot fees before the AP photographers arrived on the scene & gulped it all up through pinholes & straws then pushed it back out through their black hole maws now it walks the pale streets inventing new laws doing good works with nothing but blunt-filed claws "make sure to produce with each word that you use something your children could turn into fuel" I've been turned into fuel a mere donkey a mule a meagerly blunted and filed-down tool
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6. |
Dread
04:13
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& what could I even think to dread with you so at my side at my left with widened eyes nothing else is right in flattened tones you pry it out the broke and shuffling waterlogged old lie of mine that nothing at all is right & you here at my left & me all white inside & dirty hanging pieces & open hardwood boxes & no more blight upon my hearth & sandalled toes under the sand & you here at my left & me with naught to dread
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7. |
White Roses
02:36
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These fingers are like roses round my eyes that I could wake up to the smell of burning coffee & the sound of younger voices than any I ever made with my own mouth under the fire through the white rose of the water in the deadest dark of winter so that I could drink it deeper than my legs could even carry us to regions where it's warmer & the light does not stop flowing to the panels & the doorways that are always left so open like the hearts of those who own them that are always left so open like the hearts of those who own them own them if I could only find this then I'd halt & drop my things I would plant roses in the garden white like fingers that have covered both my eyes up & my mouth too both my eyes up and my mouth too mouth too mouth too mouth too
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8. |
Sugar-White
03:43
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With unsteady hands I would hold your head above the water keep the air flowing in I want your ring here round my finger so make what you need look more like me shape it over the months to come the only thing I ever have is time to enter into married life to be a rock on your dresser in your room don't you know the cheekbones of our children will be magnificent don't you know my face would look as old to others as it does to me don't you know you'd be the reason for my every move and my stillness too I'll steady my hands & make them into a cup for any drink you could ever need I see your eyes & their color you can blink & it will be alright the TV won't replace the sun there'll be milk and bread stocked to the roof I would start up a sugar-white life with you & let you dance me to a puppet death just tell me what it takes & I'll pay double just tell me what it takes & I'll pay double
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9. |
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On the prospect goose-stepping eat your heart out golden rider dry my hands off skillless peasant anything you say I'll just disagree ghosted I've been ghosted I've been busted I've been had in the drive-through face dripping do your worst you sun-tanned heathen give me up you funded headache leave me in the road I'll get myself home ghosted i've been ghosted I've been busted I've been had ghosted I've been ghosted I've been unlaced I've been had I've been had I've been had I've been had
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10. |
Fat
05:04
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Don't act like I'm made of glass take a swing feed me fat don't speak to me in tongues you know I know hold me down leave us it does no good to stare we're drinking to our lowered sights we're tearing out our matted hair so leave us leave us cause these are dead thoughts born of no trust & I don't want you in my head you'd feel it too much & if the walls come like the newsmen say I won't be on the side of those who are known to eat their young
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11. |
In Writing
05:01
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I don't want you because I can't have you I want you cause what else can I do I'm gonna need this in writing I can't turn this to another room I'm built into its marzipan walls I'm gonna need this in writing it's more than what it once looked like it's paling as it spreads till thin I'm gonna need this in writing oh to cut a window in my weighty skull that I could climb out to arrive at you I'm gonna need this in writing felonies of months past are snaking through the frost I sink into my armchair a broken plow-horse your warmth would be a blessing but I don't know the words or of which god to ask it by which corner to lift it I'm gonna need this in writing this is a warning I'm gonna need this in writing this is a warning I've made each of my demands
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12. |
Tatlin (Tower Song)
04:12
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If we build a tower a tower is what they'll see but now this massive pit's been dug a tower is what they need so let's build a stony tower of nothing that they know & in the blackened shadow they'll begin to glow no one will ever tear our fucking tower down
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13. |
Golden Bodies
05:09
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Nineteen & I can't remember my youth or how to get back in it like a soft bed & all I can remember of you is that dress & the way you took it off to be white like a swan for me & so was I & so was I come on filthy how I seem to think of only everything in pink & how it's so lost & all I can remember of you is your hands in my pockets by the graves feeling blasphemous please desert me desert me come on adult now in ways I would rather put off unwilling to let my kid hands risk anything & all I can remember of you is a kiss on my forehead & a look like you'd die being golden bodies it's all left me it's all left me come on youth come back to me you come back to me come on come on
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14. |
The Healing
02:47
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When the healing started started in my mouth I didn't know what to do so I had a drink & the cuts split open & I bled onto my teeth after you came around around to the side of the boars where we gore each other till our tusks are sore & reddened I stopped knowing who you were cut & run no harm done juice the meat from off my paws snap bits off of all the laws cut & run cut & run
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15. |
Polishing the Bones
03:52
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Every year you & I will sit down at a table laden with fruit & off-red flowers spending hours dredging up the organs & the keys speaking with our eyes turned off & polishing the bones & I'll approach this with some spooked caution & a weird grin on my teeth & you'll come at it in all your glory with birds coming out your mouth their left wings clipped they spiral down & break their bones upon the ground
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16. |
Some Small Thing
04:00
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Ornamented like a broadly gleaming church in the white nights of the north ornamented but never ornamental coated in metal burning up find the engravings down the steep valleys of a spine I don't know you're all I know slip me some small thing to let go the milking your touch is a luxury I cannot afford regimented sticking to my empty guns like a dog who's been kenneled regimented grinding your teeth on my own as I space us evenly singly undaunted by lines on your eyelids in the old morning sun another one crammed to the gills with ungainly long limbs you speak now with lips I never have known documented in a small box in a drawer the key I think I've swallowed ornamented
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17. |
Devotee
03:02
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& how I was just your devotee in such ways as to make me nothing through strike one & strike two don't leave me to myself to my own devices don't make me speak words I do not mean I won't be another's devotee
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18. |
There Are Lines
07:13
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You don't even think to believe me when I say I'm backing out when I say I'm spoiling I'm milk a month old & I guess that's fair you've known me a liar & I've not changed as much as my skin would like to show but you must know there are lines between everyone we love & between us & you must know I can't untie I'm shrinking while my charges ride high & there are paths ways I could take that would help me to gain weight but I've got too many pills to try that I shouldn't complain I'm shirking the gray you're not even all that bad I just can't meet eyes with someone who's got no will to try "you're not even all that bad you've just made me into a screen & I'm not one" & when I cut my gums it's your blood oh god it's your blood
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Adult Mauling Portland, Oregon
AD-uhlt MAW-ling
A recording project in Foster-Powell, Portland, Oregon.
Photo: Patrick Luhrs
Adult Mauling recommends:
Gabriel's solo work.
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